April 23rd at 10am EST
This week’s topic: Chapter 17 of “Change your thoughts, Change your life. Living the wisdom of the Tao” by Wayne Dyer
Being an Enlightened Leader
This 17th verse of the Tao Te Ching examines Being an Enlightened Leader. I’m sure we can all agree that there are Leaders and then there are LEADERS! Think Gandhi vs Hitler…As this verse shares with us, there are several Leadership styles that one might use, whether it be in the role of a Team Leader, Parent, Boss, Spouse, Coach, Mentor, Teacher, Politician etc.
I’m sure we have encountered them all in one form or another and perhaps we have even utilized these various styles and experienced the consequences of each ourselves. Certainly our style may change between roles and especially as we gain Wisdom by exploring books such as this!
The Tao advises an Enlightened Leader to be as Invisible as possible. Let your people know that you have confidence in their ability to handle a situation. An absolutely perfect example of this is Samantha, the Enlightened Leader of our group here. She just became a Grandma yesterday so of course she asked for us to manage without her for a week or so to give her special time with Baby Conner and her Daughter. Being a Grandma myself, I was more than Happy to oblige! LOL Those first few days are so Precious!! <3
Welcome Baby Conner!!! <3 <3 <3 Congratulations Samantha!!!
Samantha has now added the Grandmother Matriarch role to her life path. No doubt, all the work she has done over the past few years here will assist her tremendously. There is definitely a Balance that one must find and it is different with each child and each grandchild. Just as when we begin a new business or project as entrepreneurs, we are given the opportunity to take everything we have learned and apply it in a way that serves so she will see how everything she has ever been through will now serve her grandchildren.
As a Grandmother, she can choose to be the Dictator who demands good behavior or else…she can be the Tyrant who rules through FEAR or she can be the Loving, Kind and Generous Grandmother, the Enlightened Leader that we all know she is <3 Conner’s Mom and Dad will also have to choose how they will parent and negotiate with each other if they have different definitions and expectations of parenting. These new roles bring great personal growth as we learn to manage not only our lives but the lives of those who depend on us.
As Entrepreneurs, we have birthed a business instead of a child. Just as a new parent is thrust into a world of little sleep and constant demanding, we too are suddenly at the beck and call of our “brainchild.” Sometimes it comes as a surprise when we discover that we must lead ourselves! Most of us started out in some form of JOB or CAREER where we had a BOSS to tell us what to do. When we start working from home suddenly there is no one there to make the rules! And if we have been the rebellious sort, we may even rebel against our own rules when we do make them! LOL Finally we figure out that WE are the BOSS, WE have to decide and DO what is best for the business, WE are responsible for making things work, fixing what doesn’t and reaping the reward or disaster that results.
Do you drive action through rewards or punishments?
How do you treat yourself when you fall below your expectations?
Are you harsher with yourself than you are with others? Or vice versa?
Instead of believing that you know what’s best for others, trust that they know what’s best for themselves.
This sounds so simple on the surface but think about it, especially in the role of parent and grandparent… many times, no matter how “well meaning” our advice is given, it is still a form of believing that WE know what is best. After all, we’ve lived through it ourselves and we just want them to have it easier than we did, right? We want to save them the time and suffering that we went through to learn something but we forget, it was the going through it that taught us the lesson!
As a new Grandmother, Samantha will soon experience the slippery slope of advice giving. Sometimes it will be welcome and other times it will not be. She will need to find the balance between helping and hovering! Meanwhile, Conner’s parents will learn that parenting is MUCH more challenging than they EVER could have imagined and yet it’s worth every sleepless moment!! In business, we learn the same!
Wayne summarized a study that looked at the difference between students taught through Fear vs those taught through Love. They discovered that the Dictator can surely count on defiance and rebellion at some point and the moment the Tyrant steps from the room where there is no threat of retaliation, the students WILL go WILD!! Yet those who were taught in Love exhibited nearly the same behavior when the Teacher was in or out of the classroom.
I was raised by my Grandmother until the age of nine. She was definitely more the Dictator/Tyrant type! She could shoot fire from her eyes from 50 feet away that would singe your eyebrows off! LOL but, I can testify that when the cat was away, the mice did play!!! LOL Both my Mother and I were horribly rebellious but we are also VERY Independent!
In our businesses, as an Enlightened Leader, we must teach our teammates or employees to govern themselves rather than wait for us to dictate to them. We need to help them develop a sense of Independence, Pride and Accomplishment in their own abilities and leadership skills. In any setting there must be a level of autonomy but especially in a networking business they must understand that although we work as a team, their businesses will rise or fall based primarily on THEIR efforts, not yours!! We must each be responsible as the head of our own company and govern ourselves accordingly.
Have you ever had a Dictator/Tyrant parent, grandparent, boss or teacher?
Did you rebel when they weren’t around?
An Enlightened Leader encourages cooperation instead of competition. Sure there may be contests or a bit of challenging and encouraging team members to push themselves to be their best but actually pitting one team member against another will definitely do more harm than good. TEAM- Together Everyone Achieves More…keyword “Together.”
An Enlightened Leader creates a space where others can achieve Greatness. They have no need to be front and center but can stand in the shadows and revel in the Achievements that those in their care have accomplished as their own Hero! One of my favorite quotes in this chapter is
“The view of a self-styled authoritarian is not the way enlightened leaders see themselves; rather, they raise the energy of an environment through a viewpoint that elevates lower inclinations.” Wayne Dyer
They RAISE THE ENERGY of an environment…They UPLIFT people and provide an environment of support and comradery that encourages self-growth and discovery of each one’s Unique Gifts and Talents. They lead by example not dictation. Living in the Tao and Honoring the Tao within each of us, they require no accolades other than the Joy that comes from watching someone discover their own Greatness.
“Even After All this time The Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look What happens With a love like that, It lights the whole sky.” Hafiz
Please share your experiences and what you have learned from an Enlightened Leader or not so Enlightened Leader! LOL
How have your skills changed as you have become more of an Enlightened Leader? (if you are in this group you are at least working on it!!!)
We encourage you to join our Saturday morning hangout to discuss more on this concept.
This is week 19 of our Saturday Morning Mastermind study of “Change your thoughts Change your life” by Wayne Dyer
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Read Chapter 17 – Being an Enlightened Leader
Then Meet us here for a LIVE discussion April 23rd at 10am EST
If you got value from this post, share it with your friends. In the meantime, tell us a how YOU are becoming an Enlightened Leader – Being an Enlightened Leader…